Oh Man, 10 months later, and I still haven't changed.

Alright crazy folks, it's been F-O-R-E-V-E-R since I let you guys now what's doin'.

So..... Alright, my tata's are still amazing. Still getting milk for no reason, but my mammograms and ultrasound came back normal. Well, as normal as an un pregnant woman who gets milk can possibly be. To the people at work, it's pretty noticible. Yes, I have those ever so sexy breast pads, but I guess the look on my face just says "Someone Kill Me.". Then there are those that love to make me mad. Like those that come up behind me and shake my chair. That is when I try not to cry, but I have to fight myself not to get up and knock their lights out. The only funny thing is, I can sing things like "My Milkshake, brings all the boys to the yard, and their like they're better than yours. Damn right, they're better than yours" Yep, I'm a cheezy douche. Oh, and I no longer work for that dumb bitch that told me not to go to the Dr. As a matter of fact she is going to lose her job. Shhhh.. I'm not supposed to tell anyone.

Umm... I've moved to a bigger apartment. That's nothing special, so we'll just skip that part.

At work, I was transferred from Ops over to Services to run my own department. "Services Utilities". Yeah.. I am responsible for making sure that every single project on over 22,000 towers has power and propane. Yep, I have a great shrink. He keeps me stable and smiling.

I have a new Beej. He is the newest addition to the Lloyd fam. At almost 1, he is one of those babies that you just want to eat. Not like a cannibal, but like he's so sweet type thing. I've never met him. I just haven't had a chance to go back home. However, I have taken January 7-18th off so I can meet him and spend his first birthday with and the rest of my babies (Gavin, Natalie and Mason) I miss them so much, but with my cool ass tattoo up my side, it's like a piece of them will always with me. *** Tear

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I could go on forever to cover the past ten months.

Little background info: My Gramma Lloyd passed away June 15, 2006. My neice was born that morning and my Grams was gone that same afternoon. Talk about a Valium day. Ok-so......My Grandpa remarried a few months back BOOOOOO!! I am not in support of that. I hear he is completely different, but he's happy?? He doesn't talk anymore. If I ever meet this woman and she gets snappy with me, I will be "just another one of those Watson's that thinks I do whatever I want". My 27 year old arse will have a "Watson" style talk with her. Blood is thicker than water. Even though 13 years went by without a word between him and I, he is still my Gramps. AND he sent me my "Grandma's" hip.. Is it really hers?? Who knows. It maybe the one she picked up at the crematorium. Regardless, it is something that I remember as a good thing, and I couldn't be happier.

Today rocks my socks. I got to see my favorite Uncle. Mr. Uncle Guff. He was in town for a few hours, so I got to spend a good part of the afternoon with him. We laughed, ate, talked about Grams, my Pops, his Kids, the horned woman that my Gramps married. (I believe she has horns, and that is SOLEY MY OPINION.) It was really nice to see him, it has been 2 years since we've seen each other at my Brother's wedding. It's nice to know that there is family out there that thinks about you, ya know. I mean I bet my Uncle Jamie has no clue who I am. I would have to say "I'm Cheryl's daughter. You know, you're sister Cheryl. We sent you $$ when Katrina destroyed your shit" Oh well. I love my Unky Guffy. I am really glad I got to see him today. It made my whole week. Especially since it's close to the holidays. ;o)

The pic of two goofballs is of me and Guff I took today with my phone. And as for the other... that picuture is of my Great Great VanAndel Gradparents on their 50th Wedding Anniversary in 1934. Next to it is a violin that my GGGramps made. Pretty sweet ass that that stuff is around. Dad says when he dies I get that stuff. Woot Woot. That stuff was my Grams. She kept it in what I always called the "Dead Room". Yep, I'm a Lloyd. What can I say?

I wish I were a boy...Kinda.

Ok, so here's the deal. If you have ever spent any amount of time with me, and you have gotten to know me, you know that I love my boobs. I know, kinda random for you first time readers, but hey, at least I am honest. Yes, Yes. I take great pride in my fun bags as I have heard people say it.. That one is pretty gross. I just like Boobs or TaTa's... Any whoo. I have had these issues with my Lady Lumps for about 10 years. When addressed with a Dr. I was always told not to worry about it. It was hormones from the BC Pill I was on. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. I was on every single BCP ever made to control other issues us women face.. Mine was kinda extreme.. Like I am surprised I never died. However, I was tested for hemophilia. Good times.. So I am sure that jumping around to BC ever marketed didn't help my TaTa issue, but that was the least of my concerns at the time. FINALLY after years and years of changing this and that, a Cancer issue in 2005 and fighting with the Dr's to just take out my "oven" I decided to get the Mirena IUC... AMAZING!! I have NO TIME OF THE MONTH!! I haven't for a year and a half. I know that sounds off the wall, but it really is significant to the story.

So with that issue taken care of, I was able to live my life as I wanted and got to focus on other issues.. Which brings me back to my Tommy Knockers. Although, the Mirena had changed my life for the better, I was still having that issue.. I was all sore all the time. It hurt just to wear a bra, and at my chest size, it is not an option to go all Free up there. So I was talking to my Prego Boss about this issue, and she told me to go see her Dr. So off I go to a far away land called Alpharetta (it is only like 12 miles from my house. But I have to take 3 freeways, and that blows.) I meet this very nice Dr. and have to explain why I am there.. Ok, that was the weirdest thing I have ever had to do... Sober at least. I am getting all felt up, and getting my nipps pinched like she wanted to take them home as souvenirs for the day. So she gets to one part of my boobie and presses. It felt like a demon was in there. It was so painful. Dr. makes note, on to the one. Just about the same spot as the other one, that little demon bastard was at it again. Dr. makes another note. Tells me that she feels some "abnormalities", and wants to draw blood to check my thyroid, and my Petlactin levels.. So then I go to the lab part, and they stab the hell out of me with this giant ass needle.. I can handle needles. I have to test my blood sugar all the time. So the prick of a small one doesn't really bother me. Oh Hell NO, this woman came at me with one of things that you use to stuff garlic or whatever spices you want into the turkey. They are on the Ron Popeille infomercials... Sorry, kinda off track. So after this woman sucks all the blood from my arm, and leaves me with a big ass bruise, a nurse walks up to me and asks "Are you Sara" Why yes, yes I am. She hands me a sheet of paper and tells me to make an appointment. I look at it, and guess what. I have to go in for a Mammogram , and possibly and Ultra Sound to see what these "abnormalities" are. I have to go to the Atlanta Women's Breast Health Center. Right away, I declare that I don't my boobs to be slammed in a vice. Screw that. They wanted me to go in that day, but I got a lovely text from my Supervisor, not my Prego Boss, that if I am required to see another Dr. make the appointment for another day. WTF?? I was open to her about what I was going in for, I told her there was a good possibility that I would get sent to the Breast Health Center, and made her 100% aware of situation. But seriously, you want me to put this job above my health?? Last time I did that, I ended up having Surgery and being out of work for a Month. So what's worse? Me out for the day, or me out for a Month or two?? These are my breasts. I am sorry that God didn't gift you as much as he did me, but I refuse to let that happen ever again. So pissed off, I go to work. I am talking to the Prego Boss. She asks why I am not at the Breast place, and that is when I inform her of the text I got from my supervisor. Her eyes got pretty large. I am sure that didn't go over real well with her. So now, I still have to make an appointment to have my boobs looked at to make sure it's not Cancer or anything. It could be nothing, but I am not willing to take that chance.

So that is what else I have to deal with on top of everything .. Oh well... I will keep my chin up, and my cleavage partially exposed for all the world to see. Oh and punch her in her fucking face if she ever tells me that shit again.

Thanks for reading my rant.

S

To Sterling and Ash.

Hi Ash and Sterbo.

You guys are the only ones that read this, so here we go. Let's do this.

I want to start out by saying to Ash, I am proud that you are part of our family. You make my baby brother happy, and I know that there have been some tough times, but you always held his hand and walked threw them together. You have always helped him see the light at the end of the tunnel. I thank you and love you for that. I also would like to say Thank You for the Kids. I know that is kinda weird. But over the years, they have been my light at the end of the tunnel. First was G. then came Nat, and you gave me 2 more that I can love, and that light keeps getting brighter everyday that I know the kids are safe, and sound. Even in my darkest hours, the thought of their little faces has helped me so much. I love you for being the Mother to the Youngest Two of my "babies" I hope the stars on my side do them justice. I know it isn't much. That way I always feel like I have a piece of them with me.

Sterbo: What can I say? You are my "Baby" Brother. I know you hate that title. But I remember when you were born. Next thing you know I am dancing with you at your wedding to "Georgia" with tears in my eyes. It is crazy to know that you now have BABIES of your own. I am proud that you have become the man you are today. Like I said, I know there have been tough times, but you and Ash always make it threw them. I am proud you are the Husband that you are. I know you life your wife, and children more than anything. You are an honorable man, and have always stood up for what you felt was right, even if it wasn't =o). The way I see you look at those babies is enchanting. Of course, Mommies do the same. It is that Maternal instinct, but seeing you with them, even in pictures is so beautiful. The way you walk with Mason melts my heart every time I see it. I love those. You are a GIANT, and you are holding this little tiny hand. I can only look forward to seeing those pictures with Ben as well. I must say I am very proud of the Father you have become.

So, for the both of ya, Congrats on being Parent's again to a beautiful baby boy.
Thank you for being the Parent's to my youngest "babies"
Thank you for giving me the oppritunity to love them like they are my own.
Thank you for being there for each other.
Thank you for being my family.

I love you guys.

Love,

s